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Starved to Death in a land of Plenty

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June 10th, 2008


11:24 pm
It's been a long time since I've had internet (went green... ditched compy) (well actually just couldn't pay internet bill) and I'm glad to be back. :)
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: sing for your lover

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11:17 pm
I do apologize for not posting.

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September 29th, 2006


08:58 pm - first one, and last, all month! haha
And I thought I knew the man behind that black mask
but of course, I am Forsaken, just a foreign body
still the thoughts of bodies make my stomach whast
their grievance causes them to disembody
years after their execution, so many years
twenty, maybe; their names are cleared
not like it really matters much now, maybe heal some tears
so in the end they were never really that weird
their hanging corpses were her smiles
ever they were the possessed, or maybe just a bit desperate
somehow a little power stuffed into their feminine whiles
desperate for attention, revenge, so criminate!
burn 'em, press 'em; you know, whatever it takes
(to make them confess) blame them for your own mistakes

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September 8th, 2006


09:07 pm
so strong that not steel, but only paper could penetrate her skin
so fragile that only adamantium could brek past the barrier
today, like every other, i took a mighty blow to the chin
lost the shaking power of speec, can you get any merrier?
late at night, her onlooking ghost stands in the doorway
her eyes upon the turning figure in bed, sadistic guarden angel
but when the figure wakes all is seen is silery gray
there's no one there. still the phantasm taunts it as it eats its bagel
an exaggeration to a point of no return, complusion at it's best
it's nothing more than a halucination, a flatline affair
it's the raven on my shoulder, haunting forever as it's obsessed
fuses run close to dry, but there's no time for inspection and repair
like the statues that house and watch over the graves,
a matter like this can buckle but never quave.

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September 4th, 2006


10:56 pm - two poems and a prose
they keep saying: you're no god; not jesus; never say that
(i know i'm no martyr); "your beliefes are blasphemy
your beliefs are blasphemy; send more troops to combat.
bloody kids like you are the enemy"; then sent to a forceful academy
keep repeating: you'll find yourself in a troublesome hole
this isn't just a statement; to them it's a death wish
sorry sir, i won't sell my soul
i won't live in a corperate school of fish
like those poor men: crossing their hands over their pearls
to a ignorant, hardass country who'll never love them
that curses them for their lifestyles and their curls
just like the monkey in the large red hat- they'll condemn
what Freedom were we really given on that -important- day?
"You have the right; but you'll be controlled our way."




please, all i really ask of you before you leave
is to knit me a black heart of yarn knots
so maybe, finally, i'll have something to wear across my sleeve
something too ancious; like you a nurse giving a child me shots
i still can say i'm still hesitant; still aghast
i'm not honesy but stll i'll still tell you that. a worthless gift.
without it i'm sure- no. positive, i'd be shot down fast.
in swollen regret, still in anguish from the drift
ashamed to pieces for its petty little heartache
remose to the cold dead fact its teenage angst.
i won't listen! ;listen its no bloody mistake
i've strived Far from the point; no point to go alongst
but if anything strikes the math down the gate
your new protestic heart will really help my psychological state.



He moves his head to the side again, then shuts his eyes and wraps his arms around him. Feeling the overwhelming weakness of being drained and release he takes the slit wrist into his mouth. He knew it was must to be done; He does what he is told. Sedric immediately feels feverish, dizzy again, but tries to keep upright. Hard cold arms wrap around his own body, somewhat slightly warmer due to the blood, rocking him back and forth gently. The other man's head was filled with the thoughts of his own transformation. Pain soarched through and into Sedric's stomach as if literally tying itself into a spiral then thick, tight knots, Sed coughed and arches his back in instinctive response. He could feel the stretching of new skin forming over the bite and suddenly heard tiny bugs in the old house's wooden frame, like an exert from the Tale-Tell Heart or an ESP or something... New forms grew from his back, in hollow bones next covering themselves in a natural seal. They felt like ripping through his flesh. Sed bit down hard on his bottom lip slicing deep with his new tiny fangs. He gasped has he saw the blood appear the foreign feeling of flesh healing itself.

Sahan blinked at the sight. This was odd.. The new shapes were featherless at first, but slowly sprouted out soft white downing. Sed couldn't exactly pinpoint what was going on, but he somehow knew his consiousness had spread, enlarged. Sahan stared in fascination as the wings.

Sedric tries moving them almost without thought, but they only twitched. "Sahan?"

"You-you have wings."

Sedric starts to nod in a zoned-out exhausted way then stops and looks at his lover finally.

"Wait. What?"

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August 29th, 2006


05:17 pm
Do you really want this Monster back?
would you like for me to crack yet again?
there no way you'll flake away the black
i can't even help myself when i'm your pidgeon
an abandoned ego upon a shaking-cold swing
in an empty church courtyard, i'm sorry
i have to cut this so short, break this crow's wing
but the lion's angry; please, not another safari
tear another lip to mere shreds, open up the spite
did i get what i wanted? did i get that dead strike?
did you really mean to bring out the telescopic sight?
you just had to throw me into another hot spike
in the end, where the only real question lay to reside
Do you really want to go for another ride?
Current Mood: restlessmixed manic
Current Music: English Summer Rain

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August 16th, 2006


06:29 pm
it rusts over instructions, falls like red snow against your white thighs
a smile on your brisk face, so dully sharp it breaks past all keen
an esctasy so bright, so you, you try so hard to decriminalize
a smile, a kiss, dance around like it's the day of halloween
it paints over errors, glides like gray birds in gray cities
creepy old music box hums, stops and starts over
chirp like doves and soar over dead dynasties
stops more than alive in it's tracks, beauty more-ever
it sings an old tune few remember, a tune so tightly wound
sparking memories in clear blue, though memory be lost
this twitch, this turn, truely, what could make such a broken sound?
whatever the thought be sparked, however this thought be crossed
just rubber stopper and some tired ol' gears,
still please help us fix our sullen ears.
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic

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August 14th, 2006


05:27 pm
now you are purely fruit for the eyes
wish my ears could say the same, i hear you across the room
everytime you smile, a small child far away dies
those shoes, your hair, all a fucking masquarde costume
only when i want something is it out of my reach, gone
not for you and your rights but only my sad, greedy self
truthfully, as you a person, i feel like ringing your neck like a swan
then leave you sprawled out on your lawn, so me and myself
could keep pictures like a psychopathic necrophilliac, that's my gift
a smirk on my face comes with a fee; seeing the look on your face. priceless
packaging you up and shipping you off, an act so damned swift
red left on my hands, maybe a taste of this will cure my blood thirstiness
so succulant, still i look at you when i send you through the garbage shoot
you are still my forbidden fruit
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: placebo

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August 8th, 2006


10:36 pm
i don't believe in perfect peace, all we have is suffer
nothing'll ever be perfect, sad to say it's true
we'll just have to ignore it and get tougher
stengthen till we're nothing, till we're though
in this physical, political depression
fights are worthless, riots against our diet
now there everything then repression
everyone's keeping from being so quiet
medical breakthroughs always have their law suits
god saved the Queen but she shot herself
a saint's trapped and shot under the new recruits
people complain about being on the shelf
Time Machine, help us tell them,
the 60s and such have been sown into the hem.

wrote another one(wow, two in one day?):

his wet lie kisses only tell me he'll change
but back, if that's change at all.(if it counts)
her loud linger says she hurts out the visual range
i fear she's starting to fail life on many accounts
life falls on the down end when you have a life's responsibility
i've gotta please, that dead family's dead end
maybe, i'll never harness that spiteful ability
soon i'll have another piece of hate to lend
father like son, son be american, son join the army
"it's the only thing he could do" i wish he had a choice.
a look in to this family's blind dyes would reveal stormy
you'd think i'd loose it, but i still have my voice
catch the blame and shoot the care, can't say nothing ever goes my way
but it's never the way i really need it,never the way they'd want it, everyday
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: "Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart?" placebo

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August 5th, 2006


04:04 am
the dream is always less satsifying when you realize you're awake.
the pleasure goes away when you look at the clock
you can always sigh as you see there's nothing to partake
roll over and close your eyes, still it rings, beats 4'o'clock
the image not the same when it's forced.
try oh try, and try again. roll over. another toss.
an image plagurized and misplaced.
jumbles of blankets, a faded sheen and gloss.
beat the screaming thing to the floor in utter regret
some distant thoughts of a book overdue
try to take it all without getting upset
even now the memory is nothing to review
its always screwing up the story's scheme
the dream's always less pleasurable when it's just a dream.
Current Mood: pensivepensive
Current Music: the cure, placebo, whatever.

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